They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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