In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
