i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
