i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
