Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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