smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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