Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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