did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
