He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
