No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
