Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
