I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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