she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
