Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
