let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
