Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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