what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
