he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
