My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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