All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
