Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The uberlube is also flammable
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
