awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
they need to just BURY HIM!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
