once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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