4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
