I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
