i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
