Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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