At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
