If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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