You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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