i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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