with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
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Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
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Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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