I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
