do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
no, he came in my armpit
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
