I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
