I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
