the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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