Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
