i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
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We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
