could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
farters have to be the big spoon...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize