New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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