Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Everyone says I win the strip club
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
