Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
