The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
