Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
