can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
