if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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