I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
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I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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