We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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