words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
