Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
