id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
