Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
where does the pee come out of this thing
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
