We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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