She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
