lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
