her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
