I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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