I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
