Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
