You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We are two peas in an std pod
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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