im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
