I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
