Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Randomize
