I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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