My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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